Redeem this text for a blowjob
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize