; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Help. Why am I so naked?
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