I want to stick my p in your. b.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
