I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
