I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so let's talk penis.
only you would photoshop your dick
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
