why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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