...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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