ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
