Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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