Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
