its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
