I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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