Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
