so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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