peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
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I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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