I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
