Can i not drive my cunt home
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
