The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
