What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
