I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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