Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
