This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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