she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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