Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
