do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
