is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just gift wrapped bread.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
