thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
