Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Houston, we have a squirter
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
