Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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