Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
