fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
