There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
