dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
