I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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