you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
