your parents love me but you hate me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So apparently I’m into choking now
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