How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
where are my eyebrows?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
