AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am available for nakedness
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
