It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
