butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
