the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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