Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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