if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
