My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
