we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh god it's open bar.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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