All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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