I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize