what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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