i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
40s are totally the cure
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize