well most of my day revolves around power hour
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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