Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
