You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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