and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.