at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed