I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS