Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

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  (313): Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born http://tfl.nu/de9t
  Replies (17) Good night (1656) Bad night (771)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

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  (443): My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT http://tfl.nu/f0p2
  Replies (20) Good night (5213) Bad night (961)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

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  (410): guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/rnd5
  Replies (37) Good night (7662) Bad night (1423)
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  (600): View more from

  I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

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  (600): I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans http://tfl.nu/5cg9
  Replies (6) Good night (3660) Bad night (538)
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  (909): View more from California

  Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?

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  (909): Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person? http://tfl.nu/yet0
  Replies (8) Good night (3907) Bad night (1283)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.

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  (612): You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship. http://tfl.nu/eji2
  Replies (10) Good night (4148) Bad night (887)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night

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  (978): hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/n6zz
  Replies (3) Good night (1893) Bad night (487)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

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  (937): Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me. http://tfl.nu/hltr
  Replies (16) Good night (818) Bad night (1463)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions

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  (905): he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions http://tfl.nu/h15i
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (408)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over

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  (515): Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over http://tfl.nu/s97w
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (361)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one

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  (720): After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one http://tfl.nu/ewhm
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (236)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick

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  (602): Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick http://tfl.nu/v1r0
  Replies (4) Good night (450) Bad night (222)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder

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  (317): So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder http://tfl.nu/lnpc
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (332)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.

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  (786): Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel. http://tfl.nu/klyg
  Replies (0) Good night (199) Bad night (345)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while

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  (801): Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while http://tfl.nu/pxq7
  Replies (2) Good night (175) Bad night (340)

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