Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

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  (250): my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on http://tfl.nu/e38v
  Replies (19) Good night (4819) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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  (407): I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through. http://tfl.nu/kavy
  Replies (25) Good night (5920) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

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  (985): he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say.... http://tfl.nu/7igc
  Replies (41) Good night (1217) Bad night (2997)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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  (321): Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone http://tfl.nu/v4em
  Replies (29) Good night (837) Bad night (4086)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

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  (508): Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it http://tfl.nu/y6rt
  Replies (16) Good night (4470) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.

  (917): View more from New York City

  i told you we never speak of that again

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  (718): you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something. (917): i told you we never speak of that again http://tfl.nu/ijex
  Replies (14) Good night (1280) Bad night (4524)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.

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  (608): Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night. http://tfl.nu/vd8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2662) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .

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  (+44): Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning . http://tfl.nu/qry6
  Replies (13) Good night (3748) Bad night (1510)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.

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  (626): Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter. http://tfl.nu/7qar
  Replies (7) Good night (1345) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children

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  (817): I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children http://tfl.nu/nt9v
  Replies (4) Good night (1472) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.

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  (785): We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool. http://tfl.nu/h5uz
  Replies (5) Good night (1989) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility

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  (207): If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you (1-207): Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility http://tfl.nu/lgaa
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.

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  (815): the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa. http://tfl.nu/pziy
  Replies (9) Good night (671) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (465): View more from

  The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.

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  (465): The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail. http://tfl.nu/oo2l
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr

  (480): View more from Arizona

  truly a win in your book

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  (602): i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr (480): truly a win in your book http://tfl.nu/95qe
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (323)

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