My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i am craving dick and cupcakes