HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
