Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
