After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
