quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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