He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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