If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
