Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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