Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
